if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
