Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
