my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
