yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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