they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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