I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
