You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
