So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Randomize