Are we in a gay sports bar?
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
