Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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