Are we in a gay sports bar?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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