...so i touched it.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
