Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
it glows. i had to have it.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
