Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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