who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
