I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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