it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
do nipples grow back?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
