I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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