Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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