all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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