Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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