weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
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