How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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