We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
