Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
