It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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