You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
