He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
