we made out on top of his cat.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
