i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
