Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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