yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
