Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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