i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize
