Ambien. No doubt about it.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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