So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
