Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
My dick has a subreddit
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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