I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
