She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
