I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize