Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
