He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
