yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
