Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize