the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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