I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Sext me about skeletons
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
