Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
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