i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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