he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
