i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
