If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
