dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
