Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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