I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
