You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
It's rum buckets o'clock
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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