im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
