Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
