Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
