what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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