No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
