we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
